Symon Sez has a new home

Hi all! I recently started a project blog in another location, so please come visit me at my new home:

www.symondezyn.wordpress.com

Thanks! :)

my absent virtues

I could sit here and tell you all the ways I'm awesome, but that would take too long, so instead I am gonna focus on my missing virtues, (of which there are only a few) I am not doing this because I want to draw attention to my shortcomings but because one in particular is vexing me at the moment.

There are two kinds of patience - that which you have with your loved ones, and which you extend to them when needed, and that which has to do with more personal matters, and things which affect you directly. Patience I have, when it comes to those I love, however when it comes to waiting for something, I have absolutely NONE - never have, likely never will.

I enjoy looking forward to something pleasant, like a holiday, but when it is potentially a life changing momentous sort of event, i prefer it to happen NOW!! Whether it is for the bad or good, i hate that state of limbo, knowing change is coming but having to wait for it is just torture for me - all my cells rebel against it. Especially when i know it's the most amazing, epic thing that's i've ever looked forward to so far in my life :)

Change isn't something i have always been comfortable with, but i've grown into a place where while i feel that i will always need to have roots somewhere, I shall be fine wherever I land. I'm much more Water than Earth, the older i get. I love knowing that wherever life takes me it will be good, it will be positive. I've learned a lot in my years here. I've been bitter and jaded and angry, but that is long in my past - the future is very bright indeed. I always hoped for this, and am so blessed that I've finally found it :) Perhaps it was only waiting for me to be ready for it ^__^ That is the only thing that makes waiting worthwhile, because it is so worth waiting for :)

I Used to Write...

...a long time ago when I was inspired by fairy tales and beautiful dreams. I mean, yes, anyone who knows me knows I've always been inspired by the more macabre and dark things as well, but let's put that on hold for a moment. Despite what I typically let the world see (which isn't much, granted) I have always been a hopeless romantic at heart, and of course movies like Legend and Labyrinth have always made me breathe girly sighs, imagining for just a brief moment in time that I was the beautiful heroine in the story, equally drawn to the light and the dark, seducing and seduced by them both.

I guess now that I think about it those movies aren't exactly light and airy... they're kind of twisted too, which I suppose is really a good picture into my mind - this duality of soft romanticism and dark overtones - a sort of deep and frightening emotional schizophrenia which admittedly has perplexed many who have crossed my path, and driven away most... some even, perhaps, screaming - at least on the inside lol.

Perhaps it is my fault, for I suppose my intensely passionate, emotional artistic mind has always endeavored to create the picture of what is on the inside, outside, and since real people are just that - real - to play a part in my real life macabre fairy tale would require one to be of like mind and heart... but alas, most of the players in the story of the world are bit parts, to be barely noticed, and forgotten, extras and aspiring wannabes who only barely realize who or what they are, let alone what they could be, and as such, do not belong in my lofty visions.

So that being said we come to the point of this writing, for it seems indeed that my life is unfolding to be its own little fairy tale... one with a bit of a tragic beginning and which if one were to watch, would believe it to be hopeless and with a bitter ending...

... but the heroine is tired of these games and the viewer finds that she is indeed a goddess to be reckoned with, and has always been - as she awakens from her slumber, casts off her drab disguises, and reveals herself ever so momentarily to the world, she appears to grow taller, the velvety darkness that surrounds her becomes alive with motion, as though the air is made of black silk flowing in the night wind, and the intensity radiates off her like a living creature all its own - she gathers the forces of creativity to her and embraces them in a passionate ecstasy, with a force that pushes outwards the very fabric of reality and drives away anything and anyone nearby.

And when she finally opens her eyes and gazes forward she sees a silhouette in the darkness.... someone is standing there - someone who has not only survived the small apocalypse she has initiated but has the courage to gaze into her own eyes and see her soul.... and matches her intensity, unafraid. It is a welcome surprise for she has stood alone her entire existence, always having had admirers and enemies surrounding her; with praises and curses constantly thrown at her feet but no one ever to stand by her side in truth, honesty, and equality.

And thus, the story ends... but only so that another one can begin :)

it's been awhile...

Lately I've been inspired. My soul has been stirred once more into its natural creative state, my mind opened to new and wonderful possibilities.

I am so blessed, so grateful, so happy in my soul, i have re-discovered the joy i didn't even know i had lost. My vigor and excitement and passion is all mine again... and i am mine again.

I am as the wild panther, released from captivity, ready to pounce on life and all its treasures... to hunt out my happiness and devour it with bliss.... to stalk gracefully through the shadows and dappled sunlight in the trees, and be admired from afar, or from near if one is brave enough.

Social Media Overload?

It all began way back... when? Can any one of us remember a time we weren't tapped into the every move of every person we know?

Well there was such a time, believe it or not, when a cell phone was nonexistent, and only drug dealers or high end business men carried pagers. Now even small children carry a cell phone, because their parents can't imagine not being able to get hold of them wherever and whenever. As an aside, has anyone stopped to ask why these parents don't know what their children are doing WITHOUT a phone? But that is another topic for another time....

Then everyone was on MySpace, then Facebook, then Twitter... theoretically so that we can connect with friends and family we have lost touch with from around the world, and be tapped into the latest of news that matters to us, at our fingertips.

But how many users of these applications actually use them for such lofty purposes? How much of what is posted on Twitter is useful and purposeful and how much mindless useless chatter about things as scintillating as taking a bathroom break, being tired right now, or eating a donut? Do we really need to know our friends' lives in play-by-play action? Do we WANT to? Is this somehow like peeking through someone's window and seeing their private life, and is this secretly what everyone has been dying to do?

Those who are - dare i say - addicted to these applications will defend them to the death. "I use Facebook to connect with family in other countries" (how noble!) "I use Twitter to get the latest local news feed" (how responsible!) "I use MySpace to post pictures of my kids for friends to keep in touch" (how sweet!) But really.... let's be honest here. We use these things because we are nosy and bored, aren't we? Maybe you DO post pictures of your kids, but don't you also spend another hour after that playing with the food fight app?

I'm not saying these things are bad, (personal opinions notwithstanding), but let's at least be honest about what they are for, and ask ourselves, don't we have something better to do with our time, at least PART of the time?And how would we feel if we suddenly saw everyone we know staring in our window in real life? Interesting.

Confused

Why is it that we feel the compulsion to always analyze and label everything we feel?

I am too complex for such compartmentalizing.... and i am finding it confusing to place any pre-conceived labels on what is going on in my brain at the moment.

There are good things and bad things in there, and things that aren't either... they just.... are. I don't always LIKE what's happening in there; it gets a little rowdy - causes me to have troubles sleeping and sometimes even bad dreams, but i can't stop them, so i may as well live with them

So.... you ask me how I'm doing... i say... i don't really know.

art and the internet

As an artist it is an endless issue for me: do i post my work online for all to see and enjoy, or do i keep it safely tucked away where no one can siphon it away from me and post it wherever and whenever, effectively whoring away my blood, sweat and tears; my emotional child - and passing it off as their own.

I think this is something that needs to be more heavily addressed, for, in talking with someone who's opinion I value very highly, his comment was, "if someone took it and were using it, that would be like a compliment because they think it is cool." Fair enough, and from an outside perpective, i can see where one might think that.

On the other hand, could you for a moment, imagine the one thing you are good at, the one thing you take pride in doing, and which requires you to pour out all your emotions and time and passions to do.... something which when it is complete, almost brings you to tears because when you look at it you are proud of your accomplishment, and also because of the emotional burden attached to it.

And then imagine that someone took that from you and sold it to Jerry Springer and you saw it whored out in the cheapest manner for all the world to see, but not in the way you meant it, and not with any ounce of credit for all your hard work and dedication - your talents spread across the media, flayed out and naked - not the sacred love of your life anymore but merely a cheap prostitute.

Would you be sad? Angry? Dismayed? Heartbroken? Yeah.... so think of that the next time you right click/save an image off Photobucket or any other private art site, and think of the person who created that artwork and what they were trying to do when they posted it. If you want to use it ASK first... i'm sure they would be thrilled to know they have a fan, but be considerate - remember, karma strikes when you least expect it.